Who I Am: What It Means To Be An Empath.


Welcome to my little journal on the net. This is one of the branches of my journal dedicated to my “gifts”.

As recent as a few years ago I realized there was something more to what I could understand. Events that took place in my life practically forced me to figure out what was out there that could help me figure out some aspects of my life. Being naturally inquisitive and following my heart I suppose I was the right person to approach in such a way.

I now believe as an inquisitive person you are more likely to find a spiritual path sooner or later.

When I began to discover my own awakening (what I call it) it was as if I was trying to look at one of those 3D pictures while upside-down and having the picture rotating in front of me. In other words it was all so very confusing.

I am an empath and I am beginning to understand what that means, I am beginning to learn how to manage while being one. Since being an empath affects you in every aspect of you like, it is such a difficult task to deciphering between who you are and what you are absorbing from others.

Psychology has always been of interest to me, the way the mind works, behaviorisms, mannerisms and observations have always played a key role in my life. Even as a small child I found myself studying people and understand the why’s of behavior. Now as an adult I believe that my empathic self was to credit with my ability to read people on a personal level.

Of course, not until recently did I discover that what I thought to be normal and found in every human mind was in fact not so. It was beyond a shock for me to discover that this ability to easily read people was not something all of us were given. It was a “gift” to be treasured and used appropriately.

It all made sense, so many events in my life made sense and that was a huge eye opener that I was on the right path to self discovery.

All my life I’ve had this dire need to help others, protect my loved ones and be highly sensitive to the people around me. Images of suffering and torture of others has always created deep emotional scares within and in some way I feel I carry some of that pain with me. I know that at the moment I witness others suffering I feel it as if it were my own.

Being an empathic person or Highly Sensitive Person (as what a hand full of doctors who are now themselves fighting to get this acknowledged) call it, I have struggled on so many levels in my life. The worst crime of being an empath would be not knowing about your situation. Because knowledge is indeed power and when you understand the gift you possess you are better able to help yourself out of potentially dangerous levels of emotions and such.

I say ‘and such’ because anyone who studies up on empathic people or HSP people, will discover that it’s not just emotions that this affects, it’s sensations, intuition, feelings, thoughts, smells, visuals, perception, the whole world around an empath can be so different in many ways then the average human being.

Because this trait is so young and only a few professionals in the relatively big scheme of things understands and acknowledges this personality trait, everything that comes with being an empath is simply speculation. Each empath is different, like many other things there are many degrees of this trait. And due to these degrees people experience a whole other realm of “gifts”.

There are numerous articles written about the power of an empath, there are several Yahoo groups where empaths gather to talk about their concerns, situations and experiences. It is said that a very small percentage of people who have this trait, however considering how many people in the world we are, even a small percentage such as 11% can add to monumental amounts of people walking around with a gift they do not even know they possess.

From the outside looking in it’s very hard to determine what makes an empath or who could be one as it’s not a disease or a personality trait that can be adjusted with proscription drugs. Having empathic traits or being an empath is just like being intelligent or having a good ear for music. It’s just a part of who you are, I believe it’s genetic, somewhere there’s a gene that perhaps we aren’t aware of or believe to do something else.

But then again it might not be, because so many empathic’s go unnoticed it is very hard to determine if this could possibly be a gene passed down from generation to generation like blue eyes or height.

And it’s even harder to prove in a society that is so based on concrete facts and skepticism around every corner.

I can only describe what it feels like to be an empath based on my own situations. The following are my accounts of what being an empath has helped me develop, discover and present to the rest of the world.

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I discovered that my mother too has this ability, she is very intuitive and very sensitive to many aspects in life. Because she can pierce through the mind of those around her and has been able to drain or be drained of energy, it has been a very difficult journey to getting along with her. Two strong empaths that are not aware of their situation can wreak havoc on each others lives unintentionally.

My brother too in an empath, his intuition with others is amazing to see, although he doesn’t acknowledge the possibility of being an empath I see can sense what he senses and I know his abilities are strong. My hope is that one day he will acknowledge his gift so that he can understand how to protect himself from what we face on a day to day basis.

It is still unclear if my little sister has this gift as she is still a small child of 7 and it will take some time to notice what she notices if anything. Chances are she might be as this trait seems to come from my mother and not our father. My little sister is a step sister so that is always something to consider.

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Something all four of us (mother, brother, sister, me) seem to possess an abundance for (especially the three girls) art. We can not get enough of art, poetry, writing in other words, creating. My mom paints the most beautiful pieces, with no former training she has managed to create things many people enjoy. I have happy and proud to report I own her biggest piece to date. And I love it.

My little sister, she reminds me of myself when I was her age, she can not put the pencil or crayon down, she is constantly drawing, sculpturing… creating.

Me in particular, it is almost an urgency that I create, I have the need to do so, it’s my outlet even if I have nothing to outlet from. I love art, breath art, it’s simply apart of me. I will show you make work on a later time. I have never had any training either, but I’m not one to back down from a new artistical venture just because I haven’t practiced it before. I am constantly creating, paintings, poetry, drawings, designing, writing, sculpting, anything and everything you can possibly imagine related to art, I love to do.

My brother writes beautiful poetry, however he’s not so in tune with his gifts.

We are a group of highly imaginative people and I don’t believe any of us would have it any other way. Apparently this can be one of the perks from being an Highly sensitive person, who would’ve thunk?

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Because of my condition I have come to realize I am good a visualizing pain, whether it be physical or emotional pain. I don’t see it like a spot of light or anything along those lines, (although I’ve heard some people do) but to me it’s more of an intuition. When it’s physical I can let my hands guide me and more then likely I can pinpoint where it is you are distressed. My husband appreciates it because I give him good massages *hehe*.

When it’s emotional, I am able to experience this that you are feeling, bring the emotion upon myself. Unfortunately for me absorbing people’s negative emotions isn’t something I’m completely capable of blocking yet.

Although I must admit I’m getting much better. I actually went to a WalMart store and was able to stay in that store for over 5 ½ hours, whereas before it was a mad rush to get in and get out as soon as possible because I couldn’t take all the receptions of peoples minds I was getting. The best way to describe: It was as if the channel on a radio was being continuously changed from station to station, flooding my own thoughts and feelings.

Even thought I cannot bring immediate relief to someone emotionally hurt, empaths are great listeners and somehow people do tend to gravitate towards an empath and open up to them, we in turn are somehow able to provide some comfort and a bit of wisdom to any particular situation.

In other words I have discovered that I’m a healer, which isn’t uncommon for many empaths to take this direction as it comes natural to us. The practice of Reiki is one that many empaths take to learn about healing the body, mind and soul. I have yet to experience such a class, but it really feels like the right path for me.

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Because empaths are highly sensitive to the world around them, sometimes we pick up extra sensories beyond the norm.

Just like an owls excellent night vision, a hounds keen sense of smell or a cats fantastic hearing, we too are capable of such extraordinary gifts. It just seems to take the right level of sensitivity to witness phenomenal events.

I think the word psychic or paranormal researcher brings to mind a person with a crystal ball, dressed in long draping clothes, inside a small dim tent attempting to read who you are. And even though this idea is silly, there are psychics out there that use crystal balls and tarot cards as tools for their practice.

Because that’s really all they are, tarot cards and crystal balls are simply tools to help the intuitive person reach their specific goal.

However the psychics of the 20th and 21st century have long since abandoned the crystal ball and such methods for a more simplistic approach. A true psychic does not need the help or a ball or cards to receive the messages they get.

A psychic is simply a person who is sensitive and intuitive and thus can pick up images, sounds, voices etc.

It is not clear to me at least if abilities such as “Precognition, Telekinesis or Telepathy (just to name a few)” are much more common in an empath then a regular person.

However what does seem to be obvious is that empaths and psyche go hand in hand in many ways, but of course this level of documentation is but a speculation based on those who experience it.

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Being an empath has it’s many perks, if you are able to control it to the point where you aren’t affected as much by others negative emotions, you could dedicate yourself to helping others in need. Not like a super hero, nothing like that, but in a field that deals directly with others. Such as a doctor, or nurse, a psychologist, a counselor, a more eccentric kind of job such as a medium or even a wonderful teacher. Using your abilities for the better of mankind is the best thing an empath can do with their gift, not only for others but for their own purpose to make use of such a gift.

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Of course being an empath can also be a curse because if you aren’t aware of your situation it can really be hurtful to your emotional well being. Even when you are aware of this it take a long time to figure out what will work for you, what will keep you safe from becoming overwhelmed in a world that is so loud and demanding.

Just as an empath can be sensitive to the paranormal, depending on the level of intensity an empath can also suffers sensitivities to everyday things such as:

1) The sensitivity to sunlight or indoor light. Many empaths such as myself can not stand being in direct sunlight or strong light wattage. For example in my case I can not withstand the sun for more then a few short seconds at a time. I literally feel as if I’m cooking alive, where as the rest of the people around me don’t seemed fazed by it.

Natural sun light, hot temperatures or strong indoor light causes me to dehydrate quickly, gives me a skin rashes, watery/sensitive eyes and on some occasions erratic heart palpitations. Due to the fact I learned this the hard way on more then one occasion I’ve had heat strokes, due to the temperatures outside.

2) Noise such as TVs, Radios, Crying, Screaming, etc can really send an empath on a mental loop. In my case being so sensitive I like to spend my days quietly and by myself and often notice that when my husband gets home and he’s hyper I begin to feel very anxious inside and frustrated to the point of depression or anger. Loud crowded places such as a mall or stadiums are not the best place for an empath who is learning to deal with these situations.

Even in a quiet place such as a book store or library it can be disconcerting for an empath, because even though people tend to speak low or even whisper. It seems that the empath picks up on the energy of the conversation nonetheless. I noticed that when I’m in a book store and I walk from one end to the other, I’ve unconsciously managed to pick up various conversations no matter how low of a voice someone is using. It really is a pain in the neck when you have these disturbances and are trying to get your own thoughts across. It is very easy to loose yourself in other people.

3) As much as the sun affects me physically and emotionally for I am more likely to be upset when it is hot, other temperatures do similar things to me. Cold weather, rainy days or simply grey skies immediately change my mood to a happy one. I’m full of energy and just feel like signing to all my woodland friends. *hehe* I love being chill to moderately cold, I prefer it to anything else.

4) Strong Odors or scents are enough to send someone running but to an empath even odors not detected by the average person can be such a bad experience. For example we recently went to an open house, the house was cute on the outside but the minute we walked in I could smell the odor of ammonia in the rug in the living room. I quickly told my husband that I smelled cat urine strongly coming from the living room we were about to approach.

He said he didn’t smell anything but a single candle burning in the room, but sure enough as soon as we walked into the living room we both noticed a cat scratching post sitting in that room. He never smelled anything but I just couldn’t get the smell out of my nose. And for whatever reason I knew it wasn’t dog urine I was smelling but cat urine. Who knows, of the course of my life I’ve had both cats and dogs and at one point or another they were naughty in the house, perhaps I learned to decipher the smell between the two?

This seems to be the occurrence between my husband and I, I’ll smell something and he won’t ever pick up the scent.

Another very interesting moment was one time when we were at my in-laws house and we were saying our goodbyes outside by the sidewalk. As we were all talking and having a nice time we were all bothered by a very distinctive smell, distinctive for me at least. At one point I said out loud: “It smells like carcass”. To which my in-laws, the grandma and even my husband gave me a weird look. Can’t blame them really, who says that kind of thing? Right?

Well as we finally got ready to go I walked up to the side of the car and when I looked down to get in I noticed between the car and the sidewalk a dead snake decomposing in the light of the day. I was so surprised by this finding that I had to show everyone where the smell was coming from. Suddenly my father-in-law very puzzled asked “How on earth do you know what a carcass smells like?” At that time I didn’t know about my gift, thus I shrugged my shoulders in a ‘I dunno’ sort of way and we left it at that.

5) I absorb peoples positive emotions less frequently then I tend to absorb strong, negative emotions. I believe this is because a negative emotion is so much more present in a persons (aura, energy, karma, skin, surface) whatever you want to call it then when you are happy. Unless you are ecstatic in which case I can easily pick up on this and when I do it’s a natural HIGH an almost aphrodisiac.

Still the most common, dangerous and damaging feeling we get is that of others negative emotions. Because they are the ones that affect us deeply, affect us emotionally, spiritually and even physically.

I’ve come to realize that many people who are empaths also are treated for depression, social anxiety or even bipolar disease. Perhaps this is useful to some but then again there are many who don’t get any benefits from these. I believe it’s because it is very rare when a doctor acknowledges or even knows about empathic humans, thus the easiest way to help is to offer them drugs to suppress such feelings.

And since so many empaths can go from completely happy to completely depressed in a matter of a few short minutes. Many empaths are on depression medication because this is the only way the medicine world knows how to treat people with this gift and curse.

It is my hope that my writing all of this as my biography of who I am, I can touch someone else who is an empath searching for their way. And educate others who might not be empaths but might have or even one day come across someone who might be.

I hope people understand that this isn’t a weird paranormal theory nor is it a disease, but a simple trait any person can be born with just as we are born with specific talents and abilities. Be sensitive and compassionate to one another, no matter if they’re an empath or not, it never hurts to do so.

Sincerely, Kat

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For more information on empaths or Highly Sensitive People here are a few places you might find useful information:

Yahoo Groups

empath and psi abilities

empathic

Empaths Sensitives Psychics


Books

Are You Really Too Sensitive?

Making Work Work For The Highly Sensitive Person

Psychological Types

The Highly Sensitive Person

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide

The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook


Articles/Theories

Identifying as an Empath; by Dr. Matson


Websites

Empathic

Highly Sensitive People

Sensitive Survive

The Empath Report

UC empath



"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him... a touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise,
a misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy,
a friend is a lover,
a lover is a god,
and failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create - - - so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating." -Pearl S. Buck

(1892-1973), recipient of the Pulitzer Prize in 1932 and of the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1938, said this about Highly Sensitive People.

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